Mastering Body Language

 

Never ask a woman if you may kiss her.
Instead, learn to read body language.
Neil Strauss 

Whether they’re shy, playing it cool, or just afraid of scaring you off, a person isn’t always going to tell you how they’re feeling or if they’re interested. Knowing how to read body language could give you the cues you need to interpret them correctly.

Eye contact, physical closeness, touching, tone of voice, facial expressions, appearance, and even smells all carry signals that can help us understand what a person is thinking. If you can learn how to master these cues, you’ll increase your likelihood of connecting the right dots, and maybe even avoid some embarrassing moments.

Eye Contact

The eyes express a lot about what a person is thinking. They can communicate affection, desire, anger, interest, disapproval, guilt, and even whether or not the person is being honest. In other words, the eyes don’t lie.

The eyes follow where the body wants to go, so pay attention to their gaze.

  • Is the person making a lot of eye contact, then looking down and to the side, then back up again? That’s a really good sign!
  • Is the person looking over your shoulder and away from you? That’s a sign they’d rather be somewhere else.
  • However, when the eyes diolate or expand it means they are interested in you.

Touch

Physical touch reveals a lot about what a person is feeling. A simple touch on the arm says a lot. We touch people when we feel at ease with them. But it’s not just about whether or not they touch you, but how they touch you. We communicate what we’re feeling in the way we touch.

  • Did they rub your arm softly? They may want to comfort you or feel comforted by you.
  • Did they smack your leg when they laughed? They want you to share in the fun feeling they’re experiencing.
  • Did they give you a gentle squeeze? That could signify they want to feel more aggressively connected to you. It may even signal a hunger for you.
  • Did they violently grab you? Get help or run! Not all physical touch is positive.

Posture

How you hold yourself, the way you walk, stand, sit, cross your arms, or move your head says a lot about what you want to communicate. Learning to accurately read posture will help to know whether someone is genuine or not.

  • Is the person relaxed or stiff? If they’re stiff, they’re uncomfortable, which could be from nervousness or feeling like you’re not connecting emotionally.
  • Is their head slightly tilted? This means they’re interested in what you’re saying and receptive by subconsciously exposing a vulnerable part of their body, the neck.
  • Are their feet turned towards you or away? We tend to face our feet in the direction we want to go, so if they’re faced toward an exit, that’s not a good sign. If they’re faced toward you, they’re interested in staying put.
  • Are they preening? Studies show that when we’re attracted to someone we are more likely to preen (straighten clothes, play with hair, fidget with watch or jewelry).
  • Are they leaning towards or away from you? We lean in when we’re really interested in what someone is saying. We lean back and open our stance when we’re posturing and trying to be dominant. We cross our arms and legs, and shrink down to a smaller size when we’re trying to protect ourselves.

 

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